Welcome To Jackieville...

I Was There To See It....

2010-04-09T12:44:00.001-07:00

http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Video-Modano-Dallas-fans-join-in-memorable-te?urn=nhl,233098#remaining-content

I cannot even write about this right now cuz I'll be a big ole girl about it... (yes, I am a girl thank you very much)

If you can watch the video and not appreciate the sentiment - whether you like Modano or not - then smack yourself really hard and don't read this blog ever again. No, I am not kidding. :-)

A Very Important Stars Game...

2010-04-08T14:09:00.001-07:00

I saw Eddie's last game as a Star. I saw Turco's first game as the official starting goalie for the Stars in 2002 on opening night.... and tonight I may see his last game as a Dallas Star. TGC and I made signs last night (she likes the sign thing) showing Turco love cuz despite anything we have seen or heard or think we know about the last 2 seasons, Turco has been super solid in the net for Dallas since he started playing here, behind Eddie, in the 2000-2001 season. Ten years he's been a Star. The guy holds just about every goaltending record there is to hold for the Stars organization. His NHL career SV% is .911 with a GAA of 2.31.

No, he has not won a Stanley Cup and that is too bad because it is one of the few things you can say about him but it is not a measure of his talent as a goalie. TGC and I have had the pleasure of meeting Marty a few times and he has been really nice every single time. He even took the time to talk goaltending with TGC when she was first starting out. We left each time thinking what a great guy he was and that is not the case with every pro athlete out there.

So Stars fans, I certainly hope you join The Girl Child and I tonight at the AAC or where ever you watch the game from and give Marty some love cuz he has more than earned it cuz this may be the last time you see him in a Stars sweater.

And of course the same could be true for Modano and Jere Lehtinen ... I figure everyone will shower Modano with applause and the like but don't forget Marty and Jere. They ALL deserve it.

When next season opens, we'll welcome whatever face our team has (and I think the face will be pretty different but I could be off base) and move forward with our boys but tonight is about thanking the guys who have been with us their entire careers!

Bernie! Bernie! Bernie!

2010-03-31T13:34:00.001-07:00

Ahhh TGC and I can say we remember him when he was a Monarch... cuz next year he will be King! Yes, I will put money on that one!

Puck Daddy has him as the #1 Star for Tuesday... he won against Dallas back in December too. This season Bernie is 2-0-0 in the NHL with 1 shutout!

Oh and did I mention that he is HOT?! ;-) lol, well he is...

CONGRATS BERNIE!!!

From Yahoo Sports, Puck Daddy:

No. 1 star: Jonathan Bernier, Los Angeles Kings

The Kings haven't had much luck lately (four straight losses) and they never win in Nashville (seven straight losses to Preds), so they rolled the dice and let Bernier make his sixth career start in a critical late-season game. The result: both losing streaks ended and Bernier registered his first career shutout in a 2-0 Los Angeles win that reduced the Kings' playoff magic number to six. Bernier (34 saves) made 15 stops in the second period alone while the game was deadlocked 0-0. Bernier, who was recalled just Monday from Manchester of the AHL, earned himself a longer stay with the Kings. "He's going to be on that plane," coach Terry Murray told LAKingsinsider.com.

one of the coolest things ever...

2010-03-26T12:43:00.001-07:00

http://soundgardenworld.com/

Soundgarden is back together and will be touring sometime this year. I am guessing this summer. How freakin awesome is that? It is one of the coolest things EVER, that is how awesome it is. I saw Chris Cornell live and it was beyond words; however, I never got to see SG live :( Apparently I may get my chance this year!!! WOO HOO!

Dear Philadelphia Flyers

2010-03-24T08:43:00.001-07:00

Score some frickin goals and get off Boosh's back. His SV% is in the 90s since he took over for Leighton. You arent being blown out of games. If you could perhaps score a couple of goals instead of getting so many stupid penalties you might actually make his job a lot less difficult.

WTF?!

Shut up and start scoring.

And Flyers fans - check out this awesome blog -- www.flyersgoalscoredby.com

2 things - and they ARENT hockey related!!!

2010-03-18T13:45:00.001-07:00

1) I feel bad for the public embarrassment Sandra Bullock is having to go through for all this but really, is it that shocking that Jesse James cheated on her???? Oh wait, I'm sorry ...."showed poor judgement". Whatever. Isnt he known for repeated "poor judgement"??? Sucks that this is playing out for the whole world to watch and comment upon but being a celebrity has its price I guess.

2) Tiger Woods' "sexts" released by one of his hussies. Just read a few of them on perezhilton.com and frankly, I need a Silkwood-esque shower. Don't get me wrong, I'm no Buzz Killington but he skeeves me out, big time. BIG TIME. And he just cant pull off talking that way hahahaha ick.

Bruins/Pens - Revenge Fest 2010???

2010-03-18T13:07:00.001-07:00

First, a link to Puck Daddy's blog post on this cuz, well I swear by the guy. Ok I swear by Puck Daddy and Defending Big D. Anyway...go here: http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Making-Sidney-Crosby-pay-for-Matt-Cooke-s-sins?urn=nhl,228777 for the backstory, trash talk, etc...

Here's a summary:

Cooke knocked the piss outta Savard and concussed him real good.

Bruins fans and everyone who hates the Pens and/or Sindy Crysby (lol love the Crysby thing) are screaming for revenge..but not on Cooke, on Crosby.

Colin Campbell is already in da house to "chat" with the Bs and do his official thing ensuring no shenanigans during the game tonight (yeah, ok..whatever)

Recchi already expressed a "no thanks" to Campbell coming into the Bs room this evening. (good times!! Gotta love Recchi)

Sooooooo what will happen? (imagine an old west stand-off type song playing here) Will the Bs go wackadoodle on Cooke or Crosby or on everyone? Will Crosby cry even before the puck drops? Should be interesting....

The Stars, The Flyers and Life

2010-03-18T11:29:00.000-07:00

The Stars & Flyers play tonight.... love them both, one has an actual chance for the playoffs and the other..well, not so much really. Mathmatically not eliminated YET but still, hopes are not high. Who do I cheer for?? I know, I will cheer for Kari Lehtonen to play his a$$ off again and for Michael Leighton to return SOON!! Boosh can get the Flyers through a few but they need Leighton back ASAP!

Let's go St...Fl... yay hockey! :)

Life... I'd rather talk about hockey... less anxiety believe it or not.

2010-03-07T22:30:00.001-08:00

Reconnected with an old friend. Its cool but its unsettling. How do u xplain "unsettling"?? Puzzler, huh?

If you want to "end it all" ....

2010-02-18T12:06:00.001-08:00

...might I suggest the 12 gauge twinkie and NOT flying a damn plane into a building and hurting innocent people?!

Insensitive of me? Probably, but after reading Joe Stack's BS that is all over tha innernetz I just cant help but be a wee bit annoyed that he thinks he did something of value by killing innocent people.

Got a problem with the Government? Complain. Vote. Use your voice. This dude did not go through anything that you or your families havent gone through in the way of financial hardships or dealing with the IRS or government or whatever. Depending on your age, maybe it was your parents who dealt with some of the stuff he talks about in the 80s. I remember the Texas S&L scandal but it isn't like it directly impacted me, I was a kid. The dot com bust and beyond...now that is stuff a little closer to my realm of comprehension but still...

This guy is ONE person who decided to blame everyone else for every single bad thing that has ever happened to him and he finally snapped and took it out on people who were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. That is a deplorable act no matter what you have been through.

Enjoy hell, Stack.

Here's his 'diatribe' if you are interested http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2010/0218102stack1.html?link=rssfeed

Otherwise, I do not wish to give him any more press than I already have.

Dear People Who Run Scoreboards For Hockey Games

2010-02-17T14:18:00.001-08:00

If you cannot watch a game and run the board at the same time, please PLEASE dont do it. When you only count 1 of every 3-4 shots on net you completely hose the stats for the goalies....not to mention completely pissing me off. I get that it is mostly goalie parents who track GA, SA & SV% but we do. We have ranges we like to see our little goalie cherubs in to see progress from seasons past. You nimrods who cant run a board F that up.

Sooo to you hammerheads in _________ I say this: despite you putting in TWO 0 save games for TGC, she's still in the 80s for SV%.

Bam!

Btw...shutout #2 happened Sunday! WOO HOOO

Welcome To Dallas, Kari Lehtonen....

2010-02-10T09:30:00.000-08:00

I will admit that upon hearing the news last night that Nieuwy traded for Kari Lehtonen, "happy" was not the initial response. However, there are a few other players Dallas has acquired over the years that I could also say that about who turned out to be my favorite players -- the biggest example is Jason Arnott, whom I still love the hell out of to this day and wish really heinous stuff on Doug Armstrong for not resigning him but I will not go there AGAIN in this post. ;-)

After doing a little more research, I have decided that Kari Lehtonen coming to Dallas is a good thing. I have a feeling he's here to be Turco's replacement but I have no control over that so it is what it is.

Below is my own little pictorial on Kari Lehtonen. I think it is pretty self explanatory.

And Kari, welcome to Dallas! You'll have a 11yo goalie wanting your signature on her "stars" goalie stick pretty soon at a public practice so be prepared to be evaluated by the self-proclaimed female version of Ron Hextall. She'll appreciate your aggressiveness. She'll really love the pic of you sitting on the net hahaha

and finally.... what's not to love about a goalie throwing signs with Lil Jon?! WHAAAT? OOOOKAAAY!

he's got Lil Jon on his mask you know.... yep, should be interesting.... :)

Dammit Dallas Stars....

2010-02-06T06:03:00.000-08:00

What do I see this morning on Spector's site?

USATODAY.COM: Kevin Allen reports the Carolina Hurricanes, Washington Capitals, Nashville Predators, Atlanta Thrashers, Toronto Maple Leafs, Edmonton Oilers, Dallas Stars, Pittsburgh Penguins, New Jersey Devils and the Ottawa Senators are his picks for teams facing the most intriguing decisions by the trade deadline. Hurricanes forwards Ray Whitney and Matt Cullen are coveted by other clubs, the Capitals might shop for a veteran goalie if Semyon Varlamov remains sidelined, the Predator might consider shopping pending UFA defenseman Dan Hamhuis for scoring help, the Thrashers could shop forward Colby Armstron and goalie Kari Lehtonen, the Leafs could move Alexei Ponikarovsky and possibly Lee Stempniak and Allen feels it's still possible Tomas Kaberle might change his mind about waiving his "no-trade" clause, the Oilers hope to move players like Lubomir Visnovsky who are on long term contracts, the Stars could consider shopping Marty Turco, Jere Lehtinen and Steve Ott if they fall out of the playoff race, the Penguins might ponder adding a winger to Evgeni Malkin's line but Allen doubts they'll pursue Ray Whitney, the Devils might pursue a defenseman now that they've dealt away Johnny Oduya as part of the Kovalchuk trade, and the Senators might add a player or two.

Let me say this one more time... trade Niskanen, Daley, Turco or even Lehtinen or Modano (although they are our only two "franchise" players left and I cant imagine Modano playing for anyone else but still..) but do NOT ....DO NOT trade Steve Ott.

Here is my list of deal breaker players that we CANNOT trade (yeah, I know nobody asked me but maybe they should...just sayin):

Steve Ott
James Neal
Jamie Benn
Mark Fistric
Brenden Morrow

I hear Sheldon Souray wants to come to Dallas. Fascinating. If he can stay healthy, that'd be a great acquisition. And.....have I mentioned he's totally hot?? LOL

Stars 4 Sale?

2010-02-05T11:55:00.001-08:00

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/spt/stories/020510dnspocowlishaw.3ce44a3.html

May not be the worst news for the team.....

Better than Christmas!

2010-02-02T14:10:00.001-08:00

What could be better than Christmas?? Hockey trade deadline day, that is what. I love trade deadline day. Who will get dealt? How many 'shocker' trades will happen? Will your favorite team/players be impacted? It is better than Christmas! I guess it is mainly because I am Santa at my house so there is no anticipation or surprise when it comes to Christmas, it actually produces stress more than anything else, but trade deadline is full of both and it is awesome!

We sort of have 2 trade deadline days this season due to the Olympic break and freeze on trades come Feb 12. Trading can then take place again between the end of the month and March 3.

So far, some pretty big names have been moved around and it is still early. What will come next??

Stay tuned….

Oh and Leaf fans, I'm DYING to know what you think of Burke's wheelin n dealin. Seriously.

Toskala - welcome to the Western Conf. Sure you'll be a backup to Hiller but the Stars play the Ducks quite often and now next time they do, I will be very tempted to sit down near the visitor bench and check you out in person. Rowr. Never mind that crazed woman pressing her face against the glass... LOL j/k

Dear Alex Auld

2010-01-22T13:03:00.001-08:00

I saw the game last night so I saw the "oh $hit" moment ya had that led to a Canuck goal. I want you to forget about it.... shake it off... and move on to the next game. It happens and it happens to EVERYONE. Hell, you've been watching Turks all season so you know exactly what I'm sayin to ya here. I saw the disappointment in your eyes...I felt so bad for you and it tripped my goalie mom trigger so I had the urge to make cookies and get you a Hello Kitty blankie but...I digress.

I know you have the spotlight on you right now to get the job done for the Stars and you want to do good, I get it. You got this. You go out there and you do what you know how to do and laugh it off cuz its over and done. It was a regular season game and before the Olympic break so really, shake it off and come back stronger the next game. We still believe in you, Auldie, so don't even worry about that just go out there and kick butt!

Ooooh and one more thing.... you focus on YOU. I say that in case anyone happens to be acting like a big ole sour puss right now cuz he's riding the pine. *ahem* He did not use to be that way, I honestly do not know what has happened.

I'm officially panicking now....

2010-01-14T12:03:00.001-08:00

It has been a while since I've read the hockey trade rumors on Spector's site ( www.spectorshockey.net ) and what do I stumble up on today???

This:

DALLASNEWS.COM: Mike Heika reports Stars GM Joe Nieuwendyk is frustrated over his team's poor performance of late but after meeting with his staff believes it's best to allow his current roster to play its way out of its current woes. Nieuwendyk has been considering potential trades but ultimately he doesn't believe there's currently anything out there which can help the club, which is built on its current budget and that isn't going to change. Heika also reported on Steve Ott's contract talks with the club, which he claimed are cordial as Ott wants to remain in Dallas but it's difficult to define his worth right now.

SPECTOR'S NOTE: That's not to suggest the Stars won't make any trades but currently there's little available in the market to help them. It could be at least another month before such an opportunity arises and even then that's no guarantee of improvement. As for Ott the Stars obviously want to keep him but if his asking price proves too steep they'll focus on other issues and look elsewhere. Goalie Marty Turco has been struggling and Nieuwendyk could decide in the off-season it's more important to replace him than to retain Ott.

Nieuwy, you listen to me and you listen good. You will keep Otter. You can have someone talk Modano into finally retiring and ship Turco off to somewhere else to run his mouth (and this actually pains me to say as I heart the Marty but he has disappointed me with his 'tude and his new-found fishy flop play -- which IS NOT WORKING!!) but do NOT even let there be a slight implication that Ott will not be resigned by the Stars cuz dude, you do not even know pissed off. People here love him and they'll HATE you to the tune of not resting til you are run out of town to go hide with Barry Switzer in some God forsaken place like Oklahoma if you go and do something stupid like not resign Ott. He wants to stay. We need him.

Remember when that dumbass Armstrong was the GM here and we had the ever fabulous Jason Arnott? He wanted to stay here too. What did that assclown Armstrong do? He did not resign Arnott so he could sign that washed up overly concussed has-been Eric Lindros. (OMG my blood pressure just went up a good 15 pts) Arnott went to Nashville where he's now their CAPTAIN and has torn it the F up there. He coulda kept tearin it the F up here.

Seriously... dont be Doug Armstrong. Plus I'll make YOU explain to my 11yo why her Otter had to go away. She's good and hormonal at this age.... oh and she's a GOALIE. You really want to have to do that? I'm thinkin no. An 11yo goalie with PMS... Just sayin :)

That is all.

CuJo to say Goodbye to the NHL on Tuesday....

2010-01-11T08:36:00.001-08:00

http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=305489#YourCallTop

*tearing up* I have already starting missing you, CuJo. You were a great goalie!! I hope you'll stay in the hockey world! Hey, the Stars need a goalie coach!! :) hehe

Soooo I'm looking thru The Observer...

2010-01-07T13:53:00.001-08:00

and I had to do a double take because as I'm looking at who is going to be playing at Nokia Theater in the near future I see the following:

Gabriel Iglesias - cool, he's a funny bastard!

Owl City - hate that stupid Fireflies song and pretty sure I'd rather rip off my own fingernails than sit through a set of Owl frickin City

then I see.... David Cassidy & special guest Davy Jones

wait...WHAT?!

I look again. No, not a typo and there's a picture of David freakin Cassidy and Davy Jones. Hello? Is this sponsored by Metamucil? Centrum Silver? The Scooter Store?

Wow. I've seen 3 Doors Down, Saliva, Seether and other great bands at Nokia...and now??? David Cassidy & Davy Jones are playing there? REALLLLLLLLY??????

I may need a valium.

Ooooh Marty....

2010-01-07T13:37:00.001-08:00

You don't like Sean Avery. I get it, a lot of people don't. However, considering some of the things you trashed him for last year - and quite vocally I might add... I'd say you kinda shit and fell back in it with your remarks after last night's game. Harsh, dude....but kudos on making Avery's night a stellar one! You know it was sweet for him to play his ass off against a team who treated him sooooooo bad but hey, interesting that he was on the ice with the two teams who are paying him right now! And it is a contract year for someone (uhhh YOU).... just sayin.

What has happened to you, Turks? I expect more from you. Stop wasting time on drama and get your head back in the game and play like we know you can or this may be your last season in Dallas. I'd hate to see that happen but it is starting to look like a real possibility. You just became what you claimed to hate about Sean all while he tore it up and kinda owned you last night. Now how are you feeling about that "delinquent" comment???

[source for below info: http://bleacherreport.com/tb/b2lQc ]

But even more telling was Marty Turco's words about Sean Avery, which Andrew Gross had in his post-game wrap-up at Rangers Rants:

"I would have loved to have seen that delinquent do that for us last year," Turco said. "I didn't think it possible. He has a good shot and he's always worked hard. His intelligence on the ice has always been an issue and was with us when he was here."

…Woah there, Marty. While Turco was one of the Stars who couldn't wait to get rid of Avery, calling him a 'delinquent' is a bit harsh. As it is, Turco looked unsteady and unconfident in the net last night, giving up some huge rebounds, and the Rangers took full advantage of it, which is all that matters. Maybe that played a part in his comments. Either way, it's nice to see Avery get revenge on the Stars, and Turco, in particular.

and now for something funny.....

2010-01-05T18:01:00.000-08:00

randomness

2010-01-05T17:55:00.000-08:00

I'm tired.

I'm completely drained.

I want to not be a complete hermit but it seems as though I have managed to isolate myself from just about everyone. Ok, I get it..my own fault.

Why is it that when I need people the most I am totally unable to speak up or ask for help/support?? What is up with that? That is messed up and not even in the same zip code as normal...plus it has just grown really REALLY old.

I do not want to bury every feeling and/or emotion but the process of learning to NOT do that is so overwhelmingly difficult that I'm not sure I can do it at this point. Hi, rock. Hi, hard place. And hellllo bat shit crazy.

Sometimes I am angry because I feel unappreciated (yeah, join the crowd - I know). Honestly, angry is not the right word ...its really more hurt but hurt isnt something I've allowed myself to feel for a really long time. Anger I allow, hurt I don't so much.

I figured out recently that I actually fear happiness. Ummmm WTF?!

Crikey.... no wonder I'm a mess.

Late Night Post From My Phone

2010-01-04T20:29:00.001-08:00

Trying to blog every day. Some posts may be short but at least i'm trying to establish the habit. I dont really want to blog but I need to blog. Sooo...here I am.

(comment after initial post -- I posted this from my cell phone last night but had to come in and edit a bit cuz it broke it out into 2 posts. Apparently there is a char limit when posting from my phone. At least I know now haha)

1st post from my phone...

2010-01-03T20:27:00.001-08:00

Insomnia. Anxiety. Isolation. These are not a few of my favorite things.

A few "dear xxx" -- sports stuff.

2009-12-29T10:15:00.001-08:00

Dear Brett Favre,

Thank you for losing to the BEARS which clinched homefield for the Saints.

Geaux Saints! :)

muhhahahahahahahahahahahaha

Dear Hitch,

Thank you for beating the Red Wings. Nobody likes them and I like your goalie even though he's having a miserable sophomore year in the NHL. Poor kid. Oh and I'd light a fire under those Blue Jackets or you will be out of a job soon...just sayin.

GO STARS!

Dear Team Canada,

Two words: BRENDEN MORROW

Dear Eddie Belfour,

I still <3 you. :) I totally do not hold it against you that you are with the Blues organization. Did you notice how everyone lost their $hit when they saw your mug flashed up on the screen at the AAC a few weeks ago? Dallas loves them some Eddie Belfour. Oh yeah, they do.

Dear Flyers,

2009-12-28T10:49:00.000-08:00

Thank you for signing a hot goalie... ok technicall "re-signing" since he has been in Philly before but still... I cannot believe I was unaware that Michael Leighton was hot but what a lovely surprise and what a GREAT win in Carolina for Coach Lavi & Leighton's return to RDU!

GO FLYERS!

2009

2009-12-22T10:51:00.001-08:00

I was all geared up to write my yearly review for 2009 because I've written one of these yearly review things for about 5 years now but I really don't know how much I am gonna mess with but I'll start typing and we will see.

I pretty much feel like giving the finger to 2009. It hasn't been what I'd call a great or even good year. Sure, it could have been worse…things can always be worse so I am aware and thankful for the fact that things were NOT worse.

Let's see… T had neck surgery in early March which he has yet to see any relief from or be any better and we just found out why – things were not fixed as they should have been or as we were told they were and he's likely going to have to have surgery again in early 2010. He's freaking out, depressed, discouraged, etc… and rightfully so. I can't say I'm really excited about going through all this again either but at least we have some answers and a plan. I have to stay positive and keep the glass is half full mentality or I will spiral down to a place I don't want and cannot be. I'm the compass (scary, huh?) and I have to keep us all pointed North regardless of how tired or fatigued or anxiety stricken (ie bat $hit crazy) I am. It is just my job to do. I am a bit pissed that we spent most of this year scrambling, on the brink of financial ruin and miserable (all of us in different ways and for different reasons) and it was pretty much unnecessary from what I understand cuz had the F-tard who operated on T back in March actually done his job correctly and thoroughly – hell, if he would have even done it like he said he did it, T wouldn't be where he is now 9 months later and still no better than he was before surgery. Sooo basically he's suffered for 9 months thinking he'll heal getting more frustrated by the day and enduring more and more pain when he was never going to heal had we not pushed the issue and started seeing different doctors. Ahhh good to get that one off my chest.

There's a certification exam I need for work on something I've been doing for 10 years… I failed it not once but TWICE this year. Yay me. Pretty much hoping the 3^rd time will be the charm on this one…it kinda has to be. Ha! No pressure.

My mother died a day before her 66^th birthday and 12 days after my 36^th birthday. She did not want to live anymore and she had gotten very sick very quickly. Not to sound cliché but I do know she is in a better place and she's where she has wanted to be for 20 years. Plus I would never want to see her sick and in pain so… I don't know this is a really tough one for me. I really do not think I've even fully processed it yet. It hits me really hard at times and I have even forgotten that she's dead at others. Is that normal? Beats me….but it is my experience so it is 'normal' for me. My sister and her daughter made the whole funeral experience a complete fiasco for me and my children. I have barely spoken to my sister and do not plan to speak to my niece any time soon. My grandmother and my mother are dead so any reasons and/or feelings of obligation to put up with unnecessary BS from either of them are....well, gone to be blunt. People's true colors come out during times like that and I did not like what I saw….was not at all surprised by what I saw but did not like it all the same. I got more emotional support from my friends than I did from my own family – which reminds me of a quote "Friends are the family we make for ourselves" I have no idea who said it or where it came from but it has stuck with me.

Ok I have used up my 'negative time' so now I need to focus on the good stuff from this year.

Boyzilla managed to get himself passed to the 10^th grade. How he managed it, I have no idea but he did. We have taken a whole new approach to school with him that greatly reduces our stress and puts the pressure where it needs to be – on him to do the work. We've all been there and done that and there's really no need to get all worked up, yell, etc… it solves nothing AND it gives him the joy of knowing he's pissed us all off. Oh no, no more of that ;-) He hit a rather defiant spot a little earlier this year and I got to make a guest appearance at his school as a "you act a fool, your mommy will show up at school to correct the situation" statement. Amazing how effective that is on a 16yo to have his mommy show up at school hahahahahaha Plus it amused the hell out of his BAC teacher and me…we were both practically giddy. Ahhh the little joys in life LOL He's currently passing all but 2 classes so I'm quite happy with that actually. I know he's capable of more but frankly, I will take what I can get out of him at this point. He's reading 'Dante's Inferno' right now which amazes me. He's reading it AND comprehending it AND liking it. Go figure… He's slightly taller than me now (I'm just shy of 5'10) and reminds me every chance he gets, of course. He's wildly creative and as free of a spirit as you'll ever find. I admire that in him….now if I can just get him to do his homework!!! ;-)

TGC is doing much better since her nasty concussion in June. That was pretty scary. She's still playing hockey and earned her first shutout recently. It was very exciting. She's growing like crazy… she turned 11 this summer and she's 5'4" already. Coaches seem to really like that hahaha She had a very cool thing happen this year – through a very nice person that I've come to know over the last several months, TGC was able to get her old school Flyers #27 Hextall jersey and Hextall action figure signed by her goalie hero – Ron Hextall! She was absolutely giddy. She's kinda had a rough year in other areas of her life so this was a very cool thing for her at a much needed time! She's lost that 'little kid' look and is starting to look so grown up. Of course I think she's beautiful but my hope is that she sees that in herself. Raising girls through puberty is not an easy task -- so much pressure is put on them to be this or that and to look like this or that….its really shameful how people push their daughters so hard to fit into some kind of mold without even a moment's thought to what SHE may want. I try really hard to not push independence killing stuff on TGC. I'm sure I may inadvertently do it some but I am as mindful as I can be to boost her self-esteem and not tear her down. At the end of the day, I just do the best I can and try to do minimal damage.

Friends – I have great friends and without their support I would not have made it through this year. I am not really a "sharer" and don't really open up much when it comes to emotions but I've had to push that comfort line several times this year. Perhaps I should work on that in 2010 and try to not be such an emotional midget and yes, of course I know it is mostly fear that keeps me from opening up but that's another post for another day.

Yeaaaah you know that other blog I had? I'd not be surprised if it was resurrected in 2010. I need a "non-me" place to put some stuff cuz therapy just isn't gonna happen again any time soon and my alter ego blogging helped quite a bit. Just sayin.

Happy Holidays to all and I hope 2010 brings everyone peace, health & happiness!

(now that I am done writing this I guess the year was not as bad as I thought...there's always something good to talk about)

Random Bits O Internet Wisdom...

2009-12-14T15:46:00.001-08:00

Worst Home Remedies

http://www.qualityhealth.com/featured-article-segment?fa=153&rf=42022&mc=MTU5MTk1MTY.&ct=36928

Are Sex Toys Dangerous???

http://www.qualityhealth.com/sexual-health-articles/sex-toys-dangerous?ct=39992

(I didn't even read the article… the title was just too good to not share hahahaha Yes, I have the sense of humor of a 12yo…this should not come as a shock to anyone)

Connection Between Creativity & Mood Disorders

http://www.qualityhealth.com/depression-articles/connection-between-creativity-mood-disorders?ct=39993

5 Ways To Keep Your Teeth Healthy

http://www.qualityhealth.com/featured-article-segment?fa=102092&rf=42022&mc=MTU5MTk1MTY.&ct=36922

Woods Has Put His Tiger In…. 14 Tanks Now (ahhh you knew I'd toss in something related to the recently dethroned 'good boy golfer'… *gag me*)

http://perezhilton.com/2009-12-14-tigers-up-to-14-mistresses

Dear Elin,

Take it ALL. Every dime. Every dime he hasn't even made yet, take that too.

Love,

Jackie

weekend movie review

2009-11-23T12:15:00.001-08:00

WARNING: If you want to see 'New Moon' or '2012' and have not seen them, I'd stop reading now if I were you because I'm gonna give stuff away so if you keep reading anyway, don't be mad at me because I'm warning you now.

I have not been to the movies in forever and this weekend I saw 2 movies! I know, I left the house on Saturday and Sunday – clearly, the world is ending LOL

Actually we had hockey games on both days so I had to leave the house anyway but still…

Saturday TGC, a friend of mine and her 2 boys – one of which is TGC's good friend – went to see 'New Moon'. The younger of the boys wanted to see the werewolves and the older one was bored at home and just came along for the ride. Admittedly I was kinda along for the ride too as I am not exactly what you'd call a huge Twilight fan. Before this movie, I had absolutely no allegiance to "team Edward" or "team Jacob" nor did I give a crap. TGC and my friend and fellow hockey mom were firmly placed on the side of team Edward….until TGC got a look at Jacob (Taylor Lautner) sans shirt. I look over at her and saw her mouth hanging open so I lean over to ask "still team Edward??" LOL She realized she he was totally hot but she was trying very hard to stay loyal to team Edward, I give her credit there. Me, I have eyes so I made the obvious choice – Team Jacob it is! It took TGC a little longer but by the time Jacob showed back up with the shorter hair and totally ripped bod, TGC was sold. LOL She likes vampires and all that but anyone with eyes can see that Jacob is smoking hot and Edward is pale, puny and simply not attractive. Easy. The movie itself was decent… I was pleasantly surprised. I have not – and will not – read the books so I have no idea if it followed the book or not nor do I care. I had to stifle laughter when Edward "sparkled"… (vampires sparkling…. REALLY??) I find Bella to be painfully annoying but I hear Kristen Stewart plays the character very well so I won't blame her for poor acting… I'll just chalk it up to the actual character being annoying. (putting on my helmet now so the rocks that get thrown at me just bounce off LOL) So Bella and Jacob come really close several times to making a "love connection" but something always gets in the way… then Alice shows up when she thinks Bella is dead after doing a series of reckless, retarded things to try to keep "seeing" Edward. Alice "sees" that Edward is gonna go see the Vampire Grand Poobahs in Italy to kill himself cuz he thinks Bella is dead, blah blah blah… Alice & Bella go to Italy… yadda yadda yadda… Bella gets there just in time (of course… hello? New Moon is the 2^nd book…there's 3 or 4 of these things so you KNOW he's not gonna die…duh) Then they all go before the Grand Poobahs and turns out the Grand Daddy Vampire or whatever the hell he is cant read Bella's thoughts either (oooh aaah) soooo in order for them all to live – or maybe it was in order for Edward to live? Who knows – Edward has to agree to turn Bella into a vampire. He wont…but Alice will! For those of you who have read all the books, you know what is gonna happen later so no need for me to go there. Yes, I know because I asked someone. No way am I reading all those damn books. Oh and btw Eclipse comes out 6/30/10. The very end Edward agrees to "turn" Bella on one condition…. That she marry him. Gag me….with a spoon even.

My final words on this: Decent movie even for the people who aren't big into the Twilight thing; however, I will take Vampire Diaries and/or True Blood over this ANY DAY.

Sunday the movie of choice was '2012'. Special effects – very cool. Downside – the movie is THREE HOURS LONG. The first hour or so is kinda slow and could've been scaled back a bit to where it still gave adequate setup/historical info – er "historical" info – and brought the movie back closer to the 2 hour mark and still been a good movie. Woody Harrelson is GREAT in this movie. The kids were all kinda fidgety the first half or so of the movie but when stuff started cracking, falling apart, etc… they all got really still & quiet really quick. LOL John Cusack is in this movie and I love him!!! But I don't know that I loved him in this movie as much as I've loved him in other movies he's done. If you like realistic, plausible movies – this one isn't for you. If you like movies that stretch the imagination and have cool special effects, you'll enjoy it most likely if you are willing to take in the attempt at a morality lesson near the end.

Final words – 'Day After Tomorrow' was better and shorter (yes I know the story is totally different)! Special effects are really cool but its just too long and the attempted morality lesson misses the boat (I made a funny!) as it is still just about all elitists on board the "ships".

TGC

2009-11-19T12:01:00.001-08:00

Yeah so I'm reading a book called 'Reviving Ophelia' about girls, puberty and the difficulty of the whole situation. First, I wish I would have read this book YEARS ago. Second, if you are a daughter, have a daughter or even know a female in the remote range of puberty – stop what you are doing and read this book. Since I am now the mother of a young girl going through puberty, soooo many things take on an entirely different meaning for me. I do not recall much about my own experience with this so my point of reference is basically non-existent. However, the more I see changing in my own daughter the more I am reaching out to other moms, reading books like 'Reviving Ophelia' and basically looking for any points of information for others who have gone through what we are going through now and almost every single mom I've asked so far has reported the exact same stuff with their daughters but it seems to be a secret club almost as I do not see or hear too many of them discussing any of these issues unless specifically asked. Maybe it is too personal to discuss? I don't know but what I do know is that puberty has the potential to turn your one day happy-go-lucky tomboy without a care in the world into a withdrawn young girl with plummeting self-esteem, overly cautious about her looks and into the depths of depression. I guess I have just finally come to the same point that many other parents before me have to come to with their daughters and that is to simply hope that she will somehow see in herself what I see in her. I do not hold any specific hopes for TGC because I want her to be what SHE wants, not what I want. I do not push her to be "girly" or to not be "girly". She's more into sports than cheerleading and that is totally fine with me…and if that changes that is fine with me as well. I want her to be happy, healthy and safe – those are my hopes for her. She has gone through a growth spurt before most of her friends so she's feeling awkward (more so than normal) because she's taller than most everyone and has started the whole "why don't any boys like me" thing. Ummm she's 11. That seems way too young to be worried about this kind of stuff but apparently not. I want her to be capable of healthy relationships and able to love herself as well as others but never feel like she must like or be liked by some boy to be a full/worthy person. Ugh I could go on and on about this but I wont. She's a beautiful girl who has so much to offer the world… I just wish SHE could see that but I guess most 11/12 year old girls don't see that in themselves which is sad.

I thought I could pretty much deal with anything considering all the storms I've weathered in my lifetime but watching your child go through phases of deep depression when the value of life is questioned is without a doubt, a sucker punch I was not prepared for… we will get through it because we can tackle anything that is flung our way but it is certainly a difficult battle with an opponent I clearly underestimated.

Ok kids…time for a hockey post.

2009-11-09T11:14:00.000-08:00

For those of you (all 2 of you LOL) who read my old blog, you are likely surprised it has taken me this long to write a hockey post. For those of you who may stumble upon this blog, I shall warn you now – I love hockey and I am extremely passionate (opinionated) about it. I will try to keep the hockey talk to a minimum as I do realize that not everyone loves hockey as much as I do – I don't understand it but I realize it (haha)

Alrighty then… as I watched Chris Drury get concussed – again – Saturday evening by that dirtbag Glencross I got a little fed up with the state of the NHL right now …all the big hockey bloggin boys are talking about it….but you haven't read MY take on it and God knows the world deserves my take on just about everything *wink* -- especially hockey.

First, I believe the NHL we are experiencing this season is actually the NHL of some bizarro parallel universe. Why? Let me point you first to the Western Conference standings:

1	San Jose Sharks
2	Colorado Avalanche
3	Columbus Blue Jackets
4	Los Angeles Kings
5	Calgary Flames
6	Phoenix Coyotes
7	Dallas Stars
8	Vancouver Canucks
9	Chicago Blackhawks
10	Detroit Red Wings
11	Edmonton Oilers
12	Nashville Predators
13	Anaheim Ducks
14	St Louis Blues
15	Minnesota Wild

In case the list does not explain it, I will – Colorado, LA and PHX finished in the bottom of the Western Conference last year. They are currently in spots 2, 4 and 6. The two teams who played in the conference finals are in spots 9 and 10 – not that it doesn't make me giddy like a school girl that Detroit is sucking ass this year cuz it totally does but still, you get the point.

I won't post the entire Eastern standings because all I really have to say to prove my point in regards to the East is this: Tampa Bay is in 7^th and Boston is in 10^th. I'll just let that sink in a moment. Go on, let it simmer. Need more? The Islanders are in 8^th. Oooh yeah, ok see that solidified things for ya, didn't it? Yep, thought so.

On to one of my favorite NHL topics – Gary Bettman. In case you've been under a rock for the last few years, he's a lawyer who was GC for the NBA and is now the NHL commish. The problem? He's totally ruining hockey. Decisions are arbitrary and discipline for "incidents" depend almost solely on if you are what ole Gar' thinks is fan favorite/revenue generating.

Example – if you are Sindy Crosby you can basically concuss, rape, pillage and maim anyone at anytime while on the ice and nothing is going to happen. If you are Steve Ott, Sean Avery or any other "villain" you better not even look like you are going to act naughty or it'll be an automatic 6 game suspension for you and anyone else on your line who was in the general vicinity. Patrick Kane beat up an old man for 20cents. Was he ever punished by the NHL? Sean Avery made an off-color remark that was crass but he didn't beat anyone up and he lost half his season last year. Anytime someone even falls down near Steve Ott he gets fined plus a 1-2 game suspension to boot. Drury did not have the puck and got bashed in the noggin Saturday night by Glencross and no penalty was called. Drury was helped off the ice and from the looks of him, I'm pretty sure he thought he was at home watching cartoons not in Calgary playing hockey after being tagged in the bean. No penalty called. Had Avery been near him, he woulda been called for it and they're on the same team! I thought Torts was gonna stroke out and rightfully so. Pity Brashear was out or he coulda had a chat with Glencross – or better yet, he coulda just steamrolled Phaneuf. Why Phaneuf? I don't like him and it is my blog, that is why.

In the meantime…. GO STARS! GO FLYERS!

Ft Hood

2009-11-05T16:12:00.000-08:00

Thoughts and prayers to everyone at Ft Hood as well as all military personnel and families.

and away we go...

2009-11-04T10:41:00.001-08:00

This is a bit disconcerting….my anxiety level is up, I know once I start writing I am going to start venting but I am now blogging as myself and not shielded behind a pseudonym so that any problem or imperfection I mention is not directly linked to ME. I honestly do not think that my hesitation or anxiety come from what people may think of the specific problem(s) I may have but rather that I have problems at all and not able to solve them myself. Irrational? Yes. Completely hypocritical? Yes. The hypocritical part bothers me but this is not the first or last time I've been irrational.

I am tired. No, I am beyond tired…I am exhausted. I'm exhausted and yet I do not have the option to stay home or get away or take a break or whatever. Fine, I get it. Not like I have not been in the "responsible chair" for years now but along with this pesky perpetual exhaustion, I have a lingering twinge of anger that just will not go away. I am fed up. Like just about everyone else I talk to lately, my job is ridiculously frustrating, financial pressure is something I've never dealt with well, there are very VERY few things that I can even pretend to take joy in anymore and a med change is not the answer because I've tried just about all of them. I stopped taking the most recent "lets try this one" after almost 3 months because just like all the others, it didn't do anything. I'm back to bare bones – ADD med, Anxiety med and migraine/mood stabilization med. Putting anything else on top of those 3 is basically pointless and I am done trying anything else. I canceled my sleep study appointment because after reviewing the paperwork for the appointment it is all about sleep apnea – which I do not have – and insomnia due to breathing issues – which I also do not have. They aren't going to address the stuff that keeps me awake or give me good drugs so I am not going to waste my time. The one drug that actually shut my brain off and allowed me to sleep I cannot take because it is really bad for you and causes all kinds of other issues. I've been use to sleep deprivation for 20 years, I'll go with what I know as it seems better than insulin resistant diabetes as the result of taking some drug for sleep…but thanks anyway.

I had to stop going to see my therapist. It was too much for me to have to try to deal with right now on top of all the other BS I am having to try to take care of and it not really giving me any positive results that I could see or feel. It made me feel worse and again, I have too much other crap going on and people to try to take care of to have to deal with all that crap too.

I don't like feeling like this. I don't like being angry and not being able to find any happiness in anything but I've managed to dig a hole I cant climb out of and my only options are to just suck it up and figure out how to get up every morning to get to work and manage how to not let it show how freakin exhausted, worn down and essentially hanging by a thread I am although putting this in a blog post isn't exactly hiding it. Blogging is a way to release some pressure for me though. Some people talk to friends, I blog. Until I can ride this out and put on my shiny happy face again, I am just gonna have to vent it out here. There is nobody to pick me up but me. Welcome to Jackieville. Population: 1.

switcheroo

2009-10-29T18:30:00.000-07:00

The old blog is now officially "closed" for business and I changed my Twitter name over to Jackievilleblog too... will it cause confusion? Maybe. Most of the ppl I msg directly on Twitter knew who I was anyway so will it cause Earth shattering chaos? Uhm, no..not so much. :)

I'm also working on moving all my blog links over and I'll toss up a Twitter widget too. Why not?

2 years ago I would have NEVER EVER even considered blogging as me so this is weird.... kinda not nearly the big hairy deal I once thought it to be though. Could that be progress or perhaps me just not caring as much what people think about what I write? Probably a combination but even a little progress is good, right??? RIIIIIIIGHT.

2009-10-26T17:31:00.001-07:00

Testing out posting frm my phone. If this works, cool!

well, well, well....

2009-10-26T14:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah so hi, I'm Jackie and I've done the "anonymous" blogging thing for a couple of years and have decided to shut that one down and just blog as me. It will probably be the same ole psycho babble as before (for those 3-4 of you who even knew about the other blog) but toned down a bit on the specifics to protect the guilty/innocent and simply to not embarrass those who actually know me in real life ;-)

I'm gonna be rebuilding my blogroll over here and maybe adding some new ones.

What can you expect to find here in Jackieville? Probably a lot of venting, hockey talk, kid related stuff and various other things that either freak me out, scare me or push me to want to change. Who knows? It could be a potpouri of posts for all I know.

Put on your helmets, fasten your chin straps and stay outta the crease cuz Jackieville is officially up and running!