Rule #1

Rule #1
Muey Importante

Thursday, November 19, 2009


Yeah so I'm reading a book called 'Reviving Ophelia' about girls, puberty and the difficulty of the whole situation.  First, I wish I would have read this book YEARS ago.  Second, if you are a daughter, have a daughter or even know a female in the remote range of puberty – stop what you are doing and read this book.  Since I am now the mother of a young girl going through puberty, soooo many things take on an entirely different meaning for me.  I do not recall much about my own experience with this so my point of reference is basically non-existent.  However, the more I see changing in my own daughter the more I am reaching out to other moms, reading books like 'Reviving Ophelia' and basically looking for any points of information for others who have gone through what we are going through now and almost every single mom I've asked so far has reported the exact same stuff with their daughters but it seems to be a secret club almost as I do not see or hear too many of them discussing any of these issues unless specifically asked.  Maybe it is too personal to discuss?  I don't know but what I do know is that puberty has the potential to turn your one day happy-go-lucky tomboy without a care in the world into a withdrawn young girl with plummeting self-esteem, overly cautious about her looks and into the depths of depression.  I guess I have just finally come to the same point that many other parents before me have to come to with their daughters and that is to simply hope that she will somehow see in herself what I see in her.  I do not hold any specific hopes for TGC because I want her to be what SHE wants, not what I want.  I do not push her to be "girly" or to not be "girly".  She's more into sports than cheerleading and that is totally fine with me…and if that changes that is fine with me as well.  I want her to be happy, healthy and safe – those are my hopes for her.  She has gone through a growth spurt before most of her friends so she's feeling awkward (more so than normal) because she's taller than most everyone and has started the whole "why don't any boys like me" thing.  Ummm she's 11.  That seems way too young to be worried about this kind of stuff but apparently not.  I want her to be capable of healthy relationships and able to love herself as well as others but never feel like she must like or be liked by some boy to be a full/worthy person. Ugh I could go on and on about this but I wont.   She's a beautiful girl who has so much to offer the world… I just wish SHE could see that but I guess most 11/12 year old girls don't see that in themselves which is sad. 


I thought I could pretty much deal with anything considering all the storms I've weathered in my lifetime but watching your child go through phases of deep depression when the value of life is questioned is without a doubt, a sucker punch I was not prepared for… we will get through it because we can tackle anything that is flung our way but it is certainly a difficult battle with an opponent I clearly underestimated. 


  1. I understand completely. I have an 18 year old boy going through the same stuff.

    If they could only realize they can do ANYTHING they want.